To My Dad

I guess every three years a post on the blog, I need to get better I guess. My dad passed away on November 8th, 2011. My sister Cyndi and I gave a eulogy at the funeral. Here is mine. My sisters can be read at the following http://citydweller-citydweller.blogspot.com/

Many of you may only have known my dad for the last several years and I wanted to share with you the dad I knew and some of what I learned from him.

As a young child, as many young children do, I put my dad on a pedestal. He was larger then life to me. I am told and vaguely remember riding around Minneapolis saying my Daddy built this house and my daddy built that building. I don’t know if he did! To me it did not matter if my dad actually built the particular building or not. But my Dad was a builder, he created things and he could have built it.

In 1976, Dad, Mom, and I moved to ND. At the ripe age of 13 my dad negotiated with the owner of a home that he was putting a large addition on to hire me as a gopher. I had no idea what it meant to be a gopher. All I knew was that I was getting paid and I wanted a new motorcycle and this would help me get it.

So that summer Dad took me in the lumber store and we purchased a hammer and a nail apron that I still have to this day. I’m not sure if dad got the new ones and I got his old one, but this is the hammer. It is worn and actually has a crack in it. Today it hangs in a spot of honor in my wood shop as a reminder of my dad and those years I worked for him.

That first summer is still like it was yesterday in my mind. I learned how to pour footings, to set up a block wall. I became the chief mortar mixer. I learned how to layout a floor and build walls. How to set rafters and lay wooden shakes. I learned everyone hates drywalling for a reason. But I learned so much more.

Like the time that I brought up a small brown bag of special nails that my dad needed to the second level of the scaffolding. The owner’s young grand child was watching and she ask my dad what you got in the bag. My dad (teasing her said Candy) to which she replied with out missing a beat that Jesus does not want you to lie.

I learned that my dad who grew up talking Norwegian could still speak it with the owner even though he said he couldn’t. I also learned that jokes told in Norwegian, which would cause them to laugh for hours, were not very funny when translated into English.

I learned stories that I still tell today. Like the guy who worked with my dad who could spend the whole day looking busy with a sawhorse, a board, and a framing square but never really did anything. Dad told me its important to keep busy not just look busy.

One time when reciting recent measurements that we had just taken I once said “good enough” after dad repeated the measurement. Dad took me aside and told me that the owners never want to hear good enough when you are building their home they want to know that it was perfect and it was from then on it was.

For the next 7 summers I worked for my dad. I went from a gopher to someone my dad could count on. Someone he could give projects to, not just help with. At an age when I thought I knew everything I learned that my dad still knew more.

Like while taking a half hour lunch break , you could eat your food in 15 minutes and take a 15 minute nap and be more refreshed then listening to music in the truck.

That a circular saw can be used for so much more then just cutting. Mind you I do not think OSHA or the manufactures would approve of my dads alternate techniques but he was an artist when it came to using the circular saw.

Okay Grand children, my nieces and nephews, my kids listen up to this one. That while stubbornness is not a personal trait to aspire too, It comes in handy when there is something that needs to be done that seems impossible or that there are two few to do.

That sticking your tongue out the side of you mouth really does help you think and concentrate.

That daunting task that overwhelm you to the point of not knowing where to start of if you will ever finish are not that daunting if you just start doing what you can do.

That when you get good at driving a nail with a hammer and no longer get teased about hitting the little round thing on the end, that it hurts then when you miss and hit your finger. That if you miss once you’re more then likely going to hit it again real soon and that it hurts much worse the second time. That a framing hammer with its waffle end pretty much will rip all of the skin off your finger. And through all this smashing of your finger beyond recognition, you can still not react with cursing or swearing! And in the end that electrical and duct tape makes pretty good bandages.

All this and so much more I learned from my dad from spending time with him, from observing. I told him that those years of working along side of him meant more to me then all of my other education. I have used those skills so much in my life and have tried to pass them on to my children. Dad instilled in me a love to create things that is a lot of what I am about today.

But I would be missing the most important thing I learned if I did not share with you about my Dads love for Jesus and his relationship with him. While it is sad to see Dad gone and out of our life, We know that we will see him again in heaven. Dad was not perfect and just like I am not, he made many mistakes but dad had faith in Jesus Christ. He had faith that Jesus already paid for his sins, for his imperfections when Jesus died on the cross. That Jesus stood before him, on Tuesday when he met his Creator and through Jesus Dad was Holy and perfect. Dad was never an up front person. About the only time we saw him up front at church was when he was a pallbearer. Which was actually quite often. We always teased him that he would make a great professional pallbearer, because he could stand there with the perfect expression. But I got to hear and witness the side of dad that interacted with people, that made people act differently around him, as they knew he was different. That difference was Jesus.

Maybe your one of those people, I do not know, but this same faith that was in my dad from a young boy can be in you. The bible says in Romans 6:23 that the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus. A wage is something we earn. Like the $1.25 an hour I earned when I started working for my dad as a gopher. We all sin and this verse says our sin earns us death, But the gift of God is eternal life. A gift is like Christmas or your birthday it’s a gift! We don’t earn it. Its not about what we did or are going to do its about receiving it. Opening it up. Its our prayer for you that if you have not received and opened this gift that you will. God is there holding out eternal life to all of us. He will not force it on us. He wishes for all of us to accept it but in the end its up to us to reach out and receive it.

My dad was a builder, a creator. When you drive out of the church today you will see the church right east of New Hope. When you drive by it you to can look at that church and Say Phil Haaland built that church. Unlike the place I use to point out as a child, he actually did build it! In fact he fell off it and broke his arm. You see my dad was a builder and while he built that church and so many other buildings over his life, The most important thing he built was a relationship with Jesus. He along with my mom shared their faith with my sisters and I. Their faith became our faith. That is why we can be here today with sadness at his passing but with Joy in the knowledge that someday we will see him again when we go to heaven and Jesus stand before us as we meet the creator.

Spreading the Wealth

I stopped on my way out of Target and gave some money to a guy begging for money on the corner. This is the first time I have done this in, I do not remember when. You see, I have a real problem in my mind that I have been struggling with for some time.

About 12 years ago I did a drama at church. It consisted of a guy (me) standing on a dark street waiting for someone when all of the sudden I hear someone calling for help down a dark ally. In the drama I justify with God why surely He does not mean me. Surely God does not want or expect me to help this person. There were many ways in the drama I justified why I should not do this.

We were having company after church that day, so I needed to run home between services to put stuff in the oven. On my way home, there was a guy standing on the corner with a sign that said “will to work for food. God Bless.” As I drove by, I was reminded how much this was like my drama. I instantly pleaded with God, surely you do not mean me? What can I do. I already have people coming for dinner. I got home and really felt convicted about it and decided if he was still there I would ask him to come to church and then dinner. He was gone.

I have struggled all these years with people who do not seem to want to work and for whatever reason do not, but can beg for money on the side of the road. I remember once in Chicago seeing a very crippled person sitting on the street begging for money. One morning my wife and I were going to eat and we saw that person being dropped off in a Limo. Then I heard a 60 minutes program on just how much some of these people make and how people actually pimp them to make money.

I have also always been told if you give them money they will just buy drugs or alcohol. Not wanting to support their bad habits or illegal activities I chose not to give to them at all.

My sister was in San Francisco when a homeless hit her and my nephew up for some cash. My sister said that she does not give cash, but would rather buy a meal. The homeless person quickly pointed out a McDonalds. So my sister said “Ok I will bye you a Big Mac and fries. Do you want a Coke or a Sprite?” The homeless person said “How about a chocolate malt?” My sister, feeling she was being taken advantaged of, was quick to point out the old saying ‘Beggars can’t be choosers’ and ask again if he wanted a Coke or Sprite. I think even the homeless guy laughed and my sister purchased him a meal. I have this same feeling of being taken advantage of in situations like this, and just do not want to deal with it.

Then I remember walking around in Cambridge, England. I was all alone and checking out the city. The homeless were everywhere. One young man dropped to his knees and pleaded with a couple coming out of a restaurant with a bag of what looked like leftovers. My heart sunk with the look of desperation in this man. With his lack of humiliation he pleaded openly in a crowded street for this bag of food until the couple gave it to him. It bothered me so much that I went back to my room and spent the rest of the evening where I would not have to see and deal with these images

I have driven in cities and have had someone come up and start cleaning my windshield then asking for money. I quickly say no. I try to avoid eye contact and overall try to avoid these situations all together.

Each time, I have been convicted that I need to be doing something. Oh, I am quick to point out to God that He surely does not mean me. I justify that they will just use this money for drugs or alcohol or that these people can get a job anywhere in this town and if they really wanted to work they could work. I will say like my sister does that I will buy them a meal but not give them money, but in reality, I do nothing I avoid the situation often driving out a different route to avoid them.

So today as I was going to Target I saw this person at the corner and again I was convicted. I went in and purchased a sandwich for me and made sure I had some money that I could give this person. Man, I struggled to do this. I almost talked myself out of it, but in the end I stopped and gave this young man some money. I would like to tell you that I shared the good news with him, but I did not. I had a hard time even looking at him. I pulled over and handed him some money and said here you go. He said God Bless You and I drove away.

Now this man may go out and blow it on drugs or alcohol or get picked up in his limo, but it does not matter. You see this was not about the beggar or the money I gave him, it was about me and my heart.

Matthew 35-40

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

God is not saying in this passage that the Government should be doing this, He is talking about his sheep. He is talking about you and me, his bride, his church. It is our heart and our actions that he is talking about. I am not talking about wealth redistribution or huge sums of money. I am not saying that this will not continue to be a struggle for me. I don’t like being taken advantage of, but this is more then that; this is about my heart and doing what I am called – and I am working on listening to God.